Matthew 6:19-21
19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
They just built another storage unit center that I pass on my way to work. Do you ever wonder why we as a society need so many storage unit centers? Why do we have so much “junk” that we need overflow areas outside of our homes? I know that some are used as temporary storage for furniture and other belongings while housing is in transition. I also know that many are used to store the overflow of “things” we refuse to part with but take up too much room in our daily lives to have at home, so we place this overflow in a storage unit. The new place is aptly called EZ Stor. Pull in, dump, and pull out…what could be easier: Out of sight, out of mind. And “things” just keep piling up. I can’t help but see a pattern here that also points to the things that keep us in bondage.
It sounds like we need to clean out our storage units. Our minds are a lot like those units. We file our pain, our hurts, our bad memories, our rejections, and our abuse (both done to us and what we have done to ourselves through years of disordered eating and restrictive dieting). If you are here in Thin Within/Hunger Within to seek the Lord for freedom, but are not finding John 8:36 – “If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed,” resonating in your heart and mind, I would ask you to unlock the door to the storage unit of your mind and start unpacking and bringing into the light of God’s healing grace the items stored there. I know this isn’t an easy task. I’ve been unpacking my own storage unit for years. I know some of those old comfortable “things” are really hard to let go of. I’ve had to unclench my grasp of many of them myself. I know that we open that door and see such clutter and mess and feel that the task in front of us is impossible. I’ve been there. That was when I threw up my hands in despair and said, “Lord, I can’t do this! The mess is too big!” He gently said, “Deanna, I have been waiting to hear you admit your weakness, for in your weakness, my strength will shine. With you alone, it is impossible, but with God, all things are possible.”
I know it is a huge temptation to go back to the way we’ve always done things in the past. To start filling up that storage unit and to keep paying the rent (go back to dieting and man-made rules about food or jump on the current band-wagon that everyone else is trying in order to lose weight). But we need to remember 2 Corinthians 5:17 – 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Let’s make a commitment to God and each other that we will not go back to the way things were before. We don’t have to because in Christ Jesus, we have been made completely new. We don’t live there anymore. Let’s renew ourselves daily with the truth found in God’s Word. The temptation to look back is strong, but we can rest and take a stand on His truth! We can live in Christ’s freedom. We have His promise in Galatians 5:1 – It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. It’s time to clean out those storage units and cancel the leases. We are never going back.
Have you ever have an a-ha moment and you just want to face plant your palm on your forehead and quip, “I could have had a V-8!!”? (For you young’uns, this was a cute commercial that came out in the 70’s about eating poorly and then realizing you could have drank a can of V-8 Vegetable Juice instead) This happened to me this week but it wasn’t a V-8 I needed, but a simple prayer. It took a couple of the gals in the Hunger Within class that I am co-leading to open my eyes to some truth and give me the push I needed to make an easy change.
I have been grouchy. There I said it. I don’t mean cute like 
Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street. I mean like this:
I have been having a difficult time at work. I’m a bookkeeper at a CPA firm and the crunch has been on because of tax season. The pressure has been high and the tensions are flaring. I would like to use this as an excuse, but I can’t. I would really like to blame all the drama at the office for my grouchy mood, but I’m not. This is my third time being involved in a class for Hunger Within, and the Holy Spirit is opening my eyes to portions I have read and taught on, but haven’t implemented very well in my day to day life.
Our chapter this week is Holy Action. Isn’t that a great title? Part of this chapter talks about the eight aspects of holy action. They are Love, Knowledge, Discernment, Responsibility, Self-examination, Prayer, Surrender and Boundaries. This chapter also goes through each piece of the Armor of God and how we use them in our lives. I want to share with you the lesson I learned in our Hunger Within class last evening and how all of these things just became my lifeline to take me from grouchy to glowing. 
We were discussing the Armor. A couple of gals in our class shared how they pray on the Armor of God each morning either first thing or on their way to work. Here is where I had my a-ha moment. I know to do this. I’ve led a Bible Study about the Armor of God. I’ve done this before, but have never kept it up. I needed to start doing this first thing in the morning. Maybe this simple action would bring about the great change I needed in my grouchy life. I know some of you may be thinking, “Duh!” while others of you may be squirming in your seats because you are struggling like I have been and maybe aren’t quite ready or willing to try this. Oh, sweet reader, I understand! I have been realizing that I had become comfortable in my grouchy state. You could say that I have been self-righteous in my grouchy state. After all, I was only grouchy because the world wasn’t doing things the way I though it should. Honestly, I knew this was becoming a bad habit and the part of me that is being transformed by the Lord wasn’t happy about it and really wanted a change.
So, using the lesson of Holy Action, I decided to love God, myself and others enough to use my knowledge of the Lord and how He works in my life to help me discern how I needed to take responsibility for my grouchy demeanor. Through self-examination (and listening to others) I realized I needed to be focused in my prayers in the morning. So, this morning, I surrendered my day over to the Lord and prayed on the Full Armor of God, ending my prayer time with some extra jabs with the Sword of the Spirit by praying specific scripture prayers over troubling areas of my life. Then I committed my food and relationship boundaries to the Lord and off to work I went. I really felt a new song in my heart (even driving in rush hour traffic on a major interstate). 
I looked at the challenges I was facing in my day with an attitude of surrender, instead of being self-sufficient. I opened myself up to some wonderful help that I needed, instead of sulking. My 20 minute drive home took 45 minutes, but I just cranked up my praise music and had worship in my car with bumper to bumper traffic all around me.
I know there will be struggles another day. I am not expecting a sunshine and lollipop day every day. After all, I am human. But one thing I know; if I start my day out right with that special time with the Lord, my own attitude will be different and maybe, just maybe, I can help someone else go from grouchy to glowing by sharing what the Lord did for me.
What about you?
Have you ever had your pride come up and slap you in the face? I have. When it happened, I was brought to my knees with a new revelation about God, myself and how my pride caused me to overlook the healing material God put right in front of me.
If you have been reading my blogs, you would have noticed that I speak often about being frustrated and critical. God and I (I think mainly I) have been working on (trying to work on) these negative characteristics that I have. I am really troubled by them (I am afraid they have become quite the bad habit) and I think I am ready to let them go. Does that sound wishy washy? I think it does. See, I have been searching for the answer to finally let these negative feelings go, yet when the Lord put the answer in front of my face, I glossed over it. I think I really believed that I could just fix these issues myself. Let me tell you what I discovered and how my pride kept me from facing the truth.
In the Hunger Within class that I am co-leading, we had read Chapter 7 – The Present not the Past. This is a great chapter that discusses how to let go of the past through facing whatever happened there, letting go of being a victim and a wonderful section on forgiveness. There is also a section on the 5 Stages of Grief. Now, this is the third time I have read through and studied the material in this chapter. Each time until now, I have glossed over the section about grief. In my pride, I decided I didn’t really need to spend time on grief. After all, I had already worked through all the things in my past that I grieved. I had already forgiven those who had hurt me. I was beyond the grief of my past. And that is where I was slapped in the face with my pride. I think the Holy Spirit prodded me to finally take the time to read this section carefully; taking in all the information on the 5 stages of grief and how they impact not only why we eat in a disordered fashion but how they impact all areas of our lives. I also learned that the stages of grief are not always linear, but you can go back and forth between the stages. And then, I was brought up short. I had been wondering where all the frustration and being critical was coming from. 
I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me that my frustration is a form of anger (Stage 2) and my critical attitude is a form of depression (Stage 4). The fact that I never saw this before is because I was in denial (Stage 1) that I even needed this material! Wasn’t I bargaining (Stage 3) when I begged God over a year ago to show me another way to lose weight without dieting and to stop the food obsession? I was grieving over needing another diet. Didn’t I ask Him for a biblical way that brought Him into the equation? Didn’t I make promises to Him? That is bargaining. I may be finding myself going into the 5th Stage of Grief right now. The 5th Stage is Acceptance. I am accepting that grief is a part of daily life and that I was trying to avoid calling my feelings grief, because grief hurts. Grief is raw. Grief causes me to cry and be out of control. Real grief is hard to hide. The Lord opened my eyes to how my pride was keeping me from recognizing that the healing path He has for me involves feeling my grief and taking it to Him. It was time to pay attention to all the material He has laid before me. With my eyes newly opened, I see that I have been wavering back and forth between all 5 Stages of Grief, spending most of my time in Stage 2 and Stage 4. Anger disguised as frustration and depression disguised as being critical. My grave cloth of pride was covering my eyes and it kept me from seeing how much there is to grieve over and work through in my current life. I would say I was saddened by things that were happening, but what was really going on was a deep feeling of grief. And that grief manifested itself in frustration/anger and being critical/depression because I didn’t want to feel the pain. I came face to face once again with being powerless and needing to go to the Source of all power.
The wonderful thing that has happened since He showed me my mistake is that those feelings and behaviors have lessened. I feel that the grave clothes labeled frustration and critical are being removed. I am able to see what was lying underneath and my real feelings have been brought into the Lord’s healing light. There is a reason why the Hunger Within material brings healing to so many, and just as I don’t pick and choose the parts of the Bible that I like (because it is truth in its entirety), God has shown me that I can’t pick and choose the parts I like in the Hunger Within text. Don’t we often find that the things we say we don’t need or don’t have an issue with are the absolute things we need to look at? He is still teaching me, and I am humbled by His truth.
What about you? Is there an area of your own life that you are choosing not to look at? I pray that the Lord opens your eyes for a fresh vision just as He has opened mine.
I can’t remember exactly when the light went off in my head that even though I proclaim Christ Jesus as my Lord and Savior and am adopted into God’s family as His beloved daughter, that I was not living a life that reflected this truth. Oh, from the outside, you might not notice how I hid the pain and critical spirit inside. My pride made me put on a cheerful face. After all, I couldn’t let you see all the negative things I believed and said about myself. I think the song, The Tears of a Clown, was written for me. I am sure that my family and friends would cringe and really not believe the inner conversations I have had. After all, I don’t speak to them the same way that I speak to myself. God’s word tells me to live at peace with everyone so I’m going to be nice to you! Sadly, if you really looked at me, you would see that my excess weight was hiding pounds of pain and shame. And, if I really was paying attention to God’s word, I would have let go of my inner critic a long time ago.
You see, I have a little negative, inner, personal critic and she isn’t very nice. I say she is little, but she has a loud voice and she sounds just like me. I can be going through my day, having what I would call “a blessed day” and out of the blue, she starts in…“You don’t look very good today. The bags under your eyes have packed bags! Where did all those wrinkles come from? You had better get some anti-aging cream before it’s too late! You are so fat. Where did that extra tire come from? You’ll never lose that! Why did you wear that outfit today? You look so frumpy! No one who has it together would ever go out of the house looking like you do!” I don’t like that inner critic, but she has been around for most of my life so she seems like an old friend. She has been allowed to voice negativity in my life for so long that even though she is hurtful, she is comfortable. Why hold on to her when there is another Voice that I want to hear and listen to that brings life and light and healing?? I want to say, “Goodbye!!” to her. Can I face my fear of letting her go? The answer is a resounding YES!!
Have you heard that voice? Let me tell you how I silenced that critical, snide, scolding and negative voice and how I am releasing pounds of pain and shame. It all started with Facebook, believe it or not, and a Facebook friend and sister in Christ leading me to join a Hunger Within group.
I have tried a group like this in the past, but didn’t have any victory. I don’t know if it was because my little friend the critic was too loud for me to hear the message being taught. Or, more importantly, it could have been my disobedience and sin and deep seated shame that held me back. You may ask what got my attention this time; what is different?? I believe it is because God’s word is becoming alive and active in my life in a new way around my issues with excess food and weight. I have always believed Hebrews 4:12 which states that the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, and it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. But, the thing that was missing and is now found in my heart is the willingness to allow God and His word to penetrate into my food issues and the hidden false beliefs that made me run to food for comfort and to fill the void I felt in my life. God has always proved He is faithful to me in so many areas in my life but I had held the door to this area closed to Him with white knuckled fists. Then I reached that proverbial rock bottom. I had decided that I could not face another diet. I knew I would drop weight on a diet. I’ve done this numerous times before but the weight always came back with a few friends!! I was seeking more. My heart was seeking a permanent change. I wanted to be set free of the grave clothes that kept me bound in the tomb of denial that I could control my weight if I just found the right plan.
What have I found as I have let go of my inner critic? I have found a deeper relationship with my Father who loves me more than I could ever imagine being loved. I have found a deeper relationship with my Lord and Savior Who laid down His life for mine so that I could have life and have it more abundantly. I have found comfort in the arms of the Holy Spirit, Who comforts me in all of my troubles. And I have found a true and honest circle of dear sisters in Christ who walk this journey with me. I claim Hebrews 12:1-3 which says,
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
How about you? Are you ready to say, “So long critic!!”? Then take my hand and walk together with me and the One who loves us more than we could ever imagine.
God is doing a new thing in you. I keep saying this to gals in the current Hunger Within class that I am co-leading. I believe it. I see it and I am awestruck at how God is working in the lives of these dear ladies. I see ladies taking the truth of God desiring to release them from the obsession of food and weight issues and I see them laying down all the burdens that He never meant for them to carry. I wanted to understand this saying at a deeper level, because I know the truth of this is grounded in His word and it is a testimony to how He works in our lives as we surrender daily to His leading and guidance.
We see in 2 Corinthians 5:17 that God’s word says if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: the old has gone, the new has come! At the moment when I accepted Christ Jesus as my Savior and as He grew to be the Lord of my life, I became a new person. I didn’t feel new, and since I was 9 at the time, I wasn’t quite mature in the word enough to understand what was happening to me, but I knew in my heart that I was changed. Jesus and the Holy Spirit became real to me. I felt the Holy Spirit’s hand on me even when I was rebelling in my youth. I knew that I knew that were I to die, I would have gone to heaven. He called me to be His, and from that point on, I had a reason to live and every dark time and trial I went through, He was right there with me, leading me and guiding me through them.
We also see in Ephesians 4:23-24 that God’s word says that we are made new in the attitude of our minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. So, what I understand is that we put on a new self, which means we have to take off the old self. What does that mean to me, personally? What do I need to take off so that God can do a new thing in me? I’m going to be painfully honest with you, dear reader. I am taking off:
Wow, that is a painful list, but it isn’t the end, so don’t feel sorry for that Deanna. You see, God did a new thing in this gal, and she is not the same. The attitude of my mind has been changed and this is who I am today, with my new self put on:
God is doing a new thing…in me. I am embracing my new identity. I am claiming what He has done so that I can let go of the old self that blocks me from Him. I am watching Him as He breaks down all those false “self-protective” walls I built up so that my life can reveal the glory of the work that the Creator of All is doing in my life. I am claiming all that He tells me I am through all He did for me so that I can discover a hope and power like no other.
Have you ever heard the story of Jacob and Esau? You can find it in God’s word in Genesis 25:27-34. Esau was willing to give up everything he had and everything he was promised for a bowl of lentil stew. I have been there. I understand. I have tried to fill that empty place with a bounty of food. I have been desperate for outward signs. I have wanted the empty praise of man for what I appeared to be doing in my own strength. When I look at these lists that I have shared with you dear reader, I have to ask myself what I have been willing to give up of my true self for the insignificance of a bowl of lentil stew?
The truth? Deanna is not that girl anymore. Deanna is a Jesus following girl. Her Lord Jesus is authoring and perfecting her faith. She is loved by and loves her heavenly Father and is held and comforted and taught by the Holy Spirit. She is letting go of self-determination for being Spirit-determined. She is embracing her true identity. God is doing a new thing in her.
Will you join me in claiming your true identity? Are you ready and willing to see what God is doing in your life? Will you put your name in each statement in my second list and embrace the new thing God is doing in your life.
Do you ever wonder if you will ever “get it”? Are there days when you wonder if you are truly a Jesus follower or if you are nothing but an impostor? I have those days. There are days where every little nudge in a negative direction sends me tumbling off the “I’m not a nice girl” cliff. There are days where even the smallest inconvenience seems to turn into the BIGGEST frustration of my life. These days when I suffer through circumstances like the one’s I just mentioned can doubly troubling to me because since I have been in the Thin Within community, I don’t thoroughly drown my frustrations and sorrows in food. Food just doesn’t comfort me the way I used to think it did. Sure, I could turn on the TV and be a sofa zombie. I could lose myself in my favorite show or binge watch a few seasons of something on Netflix. But, really, that doesn’t help much anymore either. God has awakened in me a hunger within for growth and change. I have a desire to be the woman He wants me to be. Finding a way to run away from why I get frustrated isn’t what He wants for me and truthfully, it isn’t what I want either. So, what’s a girl to do? Hum, how about take a few moments and renew my mind?
I just finished a 40 Day – 40 Promises challenge where each morning, before getting busy with life, I looked up a promise in the Bible. I would write the promise and then the scripture verse(s) out in my journal followed with a prayer of confirmation about the promise or a request to fully believe in and lean on that promise. This has been a wonderful exercise in helping me renew my mind first thing in the morning. I shared in a previous blog about some of the nuggets I have received from the Lord during this process. I have another that I want to share with you that is so powerful and apropos for Thin Within/Hunger Within. Especially if you are finding yourself, like me, wondering when the great change is going to take place (by change I mean not getting frustrated easily, not wanting to continue to control my eating, or getting to enjoy a huge weight loss).
The promise I want to share is from day 32. The promise states that I have all I need to live godly in Christ Jesus. Did you hear that? I HAVE ALL I NEED!! Wow!! The scripture is 2 Peter 1:2-4 which states, “Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.”
I love God’s word and how it speaks to me at just the time I need to hear from the Lord. I no longer need to feel inadequate for this task of following 0 to 5 eating boundaries. He has given me all I need to do just that. I no longer need to fret if I am hungry or just craving. He has given me all I need to distinguish the truth between my hunger and my appetite. I no longer need to get frustrated at every little inconvenience that comes my way. He has given me all I need to rest in His peace. When I struggle with feelings around ever truly “getting it”, I can let them go, for He has given me all I need to live a godly life. When I am tempted by certain foods or the desire to follow the crowd, I can say no. He has given me all I need to escape the desires of my flesh. I can walk this road of Thin Within/Hunger Within. He has given me all I need.
Lord, thank You for this great promise! This is what I am longing for – to partake of Your diving nature and to escape the corruptions that is in the world through lust. And what is lust? Wanting what isn’t mine. Thank You Jesus for opening my mind and my heart to this beautiful promise that I have through knowing You. Continue growing me into the woman You want me to be. In Your name, Amen.
Lies can only be exposed by immersing yourself in the truth. Bask in His truth today and be set free.
I recently shared in the Hunger Within class that I am co-leading, how I identify with the blog post written by my dear friend and co-leader Deanna Lewis. You can find her blog here: http://www.thinwithin.org/mindless-eating/. I have been and will probably be again the woman in this picture. I have eaten like this in periods of numbness to fill an empty spot in my soul. 
I have eaten like this to cover up emotions that I do not want to feel and especially do not want to deal with. Dear reader, I have eaten like this just because I am bored. Need I say that I have eaten like this because I love popcorn and if I am watching a movie, I love having a huge mound of it to stuff into my face? Late at night this kind of eating calls my name. The house is dark. No one but me and my cats are awake. No one is watching and it’s time to fill her up! Like many of you, I say I eat this way because I just love the taste of food. Whatever the reasons, I have eaten in mindless fashion, way past satisfaction and to the point where each new bite tastes more and more like cardboard. And, I always experience the next morning blues…why, oh why, did I eat like that last night? My mouth hurts from the salt (oh how I love the salt in my snacks) and I will probably never be hungry again!! Have you been here? Do you identify with me?
I am trying to visualize a good example of what this kind of eating is to me, and I think I found the perfect one. Picture a fish…yes, I said a fish. Now picture that fish getting caught with a rubber worm. Just in case you have never been fishing (I enjoy fishing. Haven’t been for years and miss it) I have a picture just for you to show you what it looks like when you have a fish caught on a rubber worm.
When I think about this fish, I am picturing myself going after the rubber worm. It promises a tasty meal or a snack and boy does it look tasty and good! Surely it is just the thing I need to fill my empty places. Do you like shiny things? Boy, sometimes these rubber worms even have shiny disks that attract my attention. I have to have it!! It’s shiny and it looks so good, like real food, and I have a craving that needs to be satisfied!! And, look…I’ve been caught…by a rubber worm. I have taken the bait, and I have latched on to something that looked like it would satisfy and give me pleasure, but it turned out to be fake. This is how I picture mindless eating or any eating for reasons outside of hunger. The craving is there. It looks good. It sounds good. My attention is grabbed and I am going to eat it. And, there is no satisfaction, and I am caught. I will probably even want more of the same thing. Isn’t more always better? Thinking more will surely satisfy and fill that empty spot that I am trying to fill has got to be good judgement, right? Wrong!
This is what excess eating has become to me. I still do it from time to time, and what I find each time is that there is little satisfaction. There is always the question of why. Sometimes I realize that I don’t even care for the food I overate anymore. I don’t beat myself up like I did in the past. God has healed those places in me where I hurt myself and sabotage myself. I am quick to take my sorrow to the Lord in repentance for my slip. Can I interject here how grateful I am that our Loving Father is forgiving and longsuffering?
It helps me to visualize the truth of how I am eating. I have a choice daily to go after the rubber worm or to feast on the Bread of Heaven, which is Christ Jesus. One is fake and will never satisfy. The other promises that when I feed on Him I will never hunger or thirst. For me, the choice is already made. I want to eat what truly satisfies my every deep hunger. I am trading my popcorn covered lap for true food.
Will you join me in trading the things that look good and promise satisfaction but fall short for the Word of God which feeds our deepest needs?
I suffer from Self Will Run Riot. You may have never heard that phrase unless you have graced the rooms of 12 Step meetings. I don’t have outbreaks of this behavior all the time. Many days go by and I am happy as can be. And then it hits…BAM!! I am out of control and I really don’t care. When I think about Self Will, I see a will that is far from what God’s will is for me. When I am operating in Self Will, I am operating in willfulness that gives into whatever I want, whenever I want and in whatever quantities I want. When I am in my self will attitude, I don’t think about what God wants, only what I want. When I go from Self Will to the extreem Self Will Run Riot, I don’t care what God wants, or anyone else for that matter. Picture a runaway train. At that point having a 0 to 5 meal is the farthest thing on my mind. This can even happen after a “perfect” 0 to 5 meal. I’m just barreling down the tracks and not caring one iota about who or what I may run over. It doesn’t happen all the time, but there is a pattern of when it happens. It is always at night, when I am alone and the house is asleep, and I am “suffering” from a frustration of some sort. Are you with me? Can you picture what I am describing happening in your own life?
I am so grateful for all I have learned since coming into the Thin Within Community and having the wonderful blessing of Co-leading Hunger Within. I still suffer from Self Will Run Riot, but God is slowly healing me. The times I have outbreaks are fewer and farther between. I believe God works miracles today just as He did back in history, for He never changes. I don’t know that I really believed that He would break the chains that held me to this behavior, but He is and it is a true miracle. Why? Because I had become very comfortable in my ugly attitude. I cried out many times for healing, but if I am totally honest with you dear reader, I don’t know that I really wanted to give it up. I mean, after all, I could do what I wanted and then blame my “condition” of Self Will Run Riot and feel excused for my “bad” behavior. Then one day, the pain of the out of control eating became more painful than letting go of this behavior that was really a part of me. I cried out in that pain, and God heard me and answered. He brought me here, to Thin Within/Hunger Within, and even though I still fall into my old behavior from time to time, my life is never going to be the same as it once was.
In many ways the miracles began happening as I learned the tool of Renewing my Mind. I believe God’s Word is inspired by Him and that the whole Word of God is true. So when I read 1 Corinthians 10:13 which says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it,” and contemplate the truth in this promise, I can turn to Him when I feel my self-will rearing its ugly head, I can 
stop, take a breath, and look for God’s way out. I don’t have to bow to self and absolutely don’t have to run riot. This happened just this week. I had a tough day at work and was feeling beaten down and discouraged. I was on my way to a binge (haven’t had one in quite a while). Out of the blue at a time we don’t normally talk on the phone, my hubby called me. That phone call was God’s way out. The call lasted long enough that I was able to get my bearings and put an end to what was happening. Yes, I ate past 5…probably an 8 or 9…but it wasn’t a 10+ as would have happened before Thin Within/Hunger Within.
I want to leave you with some other beautiful promises that have been helping me tremendously in my journey here.
John 37-38 – On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”When I stay alert to my patterns, and stop, take a breath and renew my mind with these truths, I can rejoice that the Lord does fill me with joy in His presence and I know the truth of experiencing eternal pleasures at His right hand.
If you find yourself in the first part of my story (self will run riot), but haven’t reached the second half (healed into being an overcomer), I am praying that you too will cry out to God and allow Him to work a miracle in your life. I pray you find yourself in my shoes, where the pain of how you are living becomes more than the pain of letting go.
I am in the middle of a “Praying 40 Promises in 40 Days” challenge. I really needed to take this on as a project because my morning time with the Lord was lacking since going from part-time employment to full-time. At least that was the excuse I used. So, I made a commitment and I am here to tell you that I am so glad I did. It is amazing what just a short time in the morning with the Lord does for your day. It has helped me deal with the frustrations of learning a new job and it has helped me stay within my eating boundaries. I am also being reacquainted with some much loved Scripture verses.
A recent promise was from Psalm 23:1. Don’t you just love the 23rd Psalm? I do. I think the 23rd Psalm is a favorite to many. It is probably the best known Psalm in the Bible for believers and even non-believers alike. It is the one that graces many funerals, and it is definitely a go to when we feel we are walking through a dark time. This is the Psalm many of us memorized as children and many of us can quote from heart (maybe not perfectly, but close enough). Which are the stanzas that are the most powerful for you? We love thinking of lying down in green pastures and being led beside still waters. I get strength for my soul when I read that He leads me and that even in a dark valley, I need not fear evil for He is with me and His rod and staff comfort me. I really love the visual of my cup running over. We love thinking about dwelling in the house of the Lord forever. Are you with me? What am I leaving out? Um…verse one. My journey in Thin Within/Hunger Within makes me believe that verse one is the most important. The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. Why do I gloss over this verse and go on to the others? Maybe I don’t really want to give up my wants? Maybe I am too comfortable in wanting what I don’t have? Maybe I am afraid to trust the Lord to give me what I think I need and want? Maybe I want to stay in control?
Look with me at the truth of these Holy Spirit inspired words. The first half of Psalm 23:1 talks about Jesus. He is my shepherd and your shepherd. A shepherd takes care of his flock. He feeds, cares and protects. A good shepherd would sometimes put himself in danger in order to go retrieve a lost sheep. This is a beautiful picture of our Lord Jesus Christ and how He loves and cares for us, even unto death for all of us who were once lost. The first half of this verse tells me Jesus’ part.
The second half of Psalm 23:1 is my part. I shall not want. With Jesus as my Shepherd, all my needs are taken care of by Him. If I still feel that I am lacking, then I might not be letting Him be the Shepherd of my life at all. If I am wanting more than what He has already provided for me then maybe I am following the wrong shepherd. Maybe I am trying to lead myself? I am remembering Isaiah 53:6 that says, we all, like sheep, have gone astray; each of us has turned to his own way.
I don’t want to be this sheep anymore. I want Jesus to be my Shepherd. I don’t want to feel that I am lacking anything. He has provided me with blessings beyond measure. I am ready to be led back into the pen. Doing it my own way is hard, and scary, and always leads me into trouble, and causes me to fall. My Hunger Within is telling me that I need my Savior who is like a Shepherd to lead me. So, Psalm 23:1b says,
“I shall not want…
What the world says is a perfect body
More food than my body needs
More exercise than what is moderate and healthy for me
A smaller size than the perfect one God has for me
The scraps off my family’s plates
To multi-task while eating
The goodies in the break-room just because they are there and everyone else is enjoying them because I am not hungry at the moment
To count points or calories or carbs
Dessert or seconds if I am no longer hungry
A snack just because I am watching TV or reading a book
a health issue that would force me to eat better (like that works in real life!)
Anything else that is not mine”
Lord Jesus, I am your sheep and I am prone to wander from Your care. I have wanted to walk on my own path instead of following You. Lord Jesus, I am so grateful that You were willing to go after me as I strayed and that You have brought me back into Your loving care. Lord, keep me close. I no longer want to do it my way! In Your name, I pray, Amen.
What about you? Are you ready to quit straying from the Shepherd that loves you to death? Will you join me in the sheep pen?
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